Letter to the Reader

June 14, 2013

Dear Reader,

As I entered College Composition, I was a little bit scared to be honest. I wasn’t sure exactly what we were going to be learning, or what we were going to be writing about. The big college word really dispersed some fear amongst me and most of my classmates as we walked in for the first day in January. I however was quick to learn that it would be one of the most low-key, yet productive classes that I have taken throughout high school.

Despite what my friends had told me about College Comp, I still had no idea what to expect. All I could think about was the extensive amount of homework I would have in the second half of my senior year, as many of my classmates were thinking as well. My friends had told me that it was nothing to worry about, and that Mrs. Basko leveled out the course so you never really had too much work at one time, and were still able to grasp the concepts she was teaching without having to bend over backwards to learn the material.

As the course unfolded throughout the semester, I soon came to find out exactly what I was enrolled in, and how much it was really helping me. As I mentioned before, I really expected to have a lot of homework, with hard grading on ‘College composition’. This fear was quickly put down because we were taught a bunch of new material, such as strategies, then given example of different kinds of writing, and then told to go out and write our own paper using that strategy. This process made it so much easier for our class, because by the time it came to writing our paper, we had so much background information on that type of writing, and examples that all we had to do was sit down and simply put our thoughts on paper.

The first couple of weeks we simply learned about the different types of writing (definition, exemplification, narrative, dominant impression etc.). I usually don’t take to many notes in class, but this class was one place where I found it almost essential to take notes. Not only did it make the process of writing our different pieces throughout the year easier, but will allow me in the future to look back while in college and be able to know the different skills used in each technique.

For the different pieces we wrote, we were given several examples of topics and forms to write in. As we highlighted each paper for different techniques used, we were able to see how real life authors and writers used these same techniques in their papers. We would highlight all the different writing styles, and different techniques used to back up their topic. We then used these examples in our own pieces.

One of the biggest things I always have struggled with when it comes to writing is trying to find a topic that not only I feel comfortable writing about, but also that I can really expand upon. Usually I will pick a topic and end up hitting a dead end. One of the greatest topics we studied this year was the use of examples. I recall one class period when all we did was watch a bunch of commercials, and then at the end, had to figure out how they all related and how each one related to a certain topic. We then had to find a bunch of examples of different commercials to back up what our topic was.

As I began to write my paper on determination used in commercials, I first began to research different commercials that distilled the idea of determination. Mostly sports commercials, I used these examples to expand on my thesis that commercials use different athletes and products to determine the people watching the commercial.

My dominant impression paper is the paper that affected me the most this year. I wrote about my friend Paul and his impact on my life. I found it easy to write about a subject that I had so much of a background on. I have nearly spent my last three years hanging out with him, and playing soccer with him. This paper demonstrated the power of the use of examples. You can write a paper using a bunch of general statements, but it will do nothing in grabbing the reader’s attention. The use of examples in this paper really demonstrated to me how by simply expanding upon certain topics, can make a boring topic interesting.

I have seen a lot of improvement from my first paper to my last. It is hard to compare certain pieces of writing from just this semester because we explored with so many different forms. Some I found to have strengths in, and others I found to have weakness in.  

There is no doubt that I grew in my writing skills as I finish up with college composition. The two biggest areas that I grew in this year were the use of creativity in writing, and the use of examples in all types of writing.

I feel as though my creativity grew this year more than ever. I became more of an individual writer with a deeper sense of different techniques to grab the reader’s attention. One of the biggest ways I improved on my creativity was the use of clever titles. The title is the first words the reader will read, and can ultimately decide whether they read your piece or not. I was able to think of funny puns, clever hooks, and bold titles.

Examples may be my new strongest attribute when it comes down to writing a paper. I realized how every form of literature uses examples no matter what. Commercials use a ton of examples to sell their product, TV shows use flashbacks to expand upon a point, and books use explode a moments to give examples of certain scenes. All these different form of literature proved to me that you really have to back up your thesis to prove your prove your point.

My writing throughout college composition has thrived and expanded just by simply learning all these somewhat basic topics and techniques. These new skills will pay off as I enter college, and I can now take all these new learned skills and apply them to my new stage in life.

Sincerely Yours,

Christian Amering

Exhibit #1: 'Brother from Another Mother', Dominant Impression writing

Dominant Impression Reflection

Christian Amering

Brother from Another Mother

It is now funny to look back at this paper after I had written it earlier this year. A lot has changed from when I wrote this paper, including my now continued friendship with Paul, and also where I decided to go to College. When I wrote this paper, I was nearly certain that I would be going to RPI in the fall to attend college with Paul. Now I am going to University of Buffalo which is nearly completely opposite directions.

 As I reflect on this paper, I really realized what I began to instill in my writing. From this paper, I learned to use example, and really expand upon a topic, even if it is just as basic as a long-lasting friendship. Paul has always given me a lot to talk about with all the fun stuff we do, and almost made writing this paper easy.

 One of the biggest things this paper allowed me to do was to realize how writing is not just something that is written, and forgotten, but is also a historical document. When you write the paper, you are writing about current time, but as I look back on this paper, I realize how much has changed, and how life doesn't always go as planned.

 Once I revised this copy, I truly saw the potential that this paper had. By simply moving around a couple paragraphs and expanding upon certain points I made really allow the reader to be intrigued by my life with Penfield Soccer. The weaknesses at first in this paper included lack of detail and expanding upon the topic, and also originally the title.

 When Mrs. Basko revised my original paper, she recommended including dialogue so that the reader knew some of the words Paul had said to me. I attempted to go into the piece and add in some, but found it difficult because I almost found myself just describing my point of view of Paul, not giving specific examples of when we conversed. To make up for the lack of dialogue, I expanded upon some different points in my senior year without Paul, to really show how much different it is to have Paul around on our team.

 As I conclude this reflection, I would love to in the future re-read this paper, and then maybe rewrite another version of it, based on my friendship with Paul in the future, and how we have both changed. 

Here is my revised copy: 

Brother from Another Mother

           

Growing up throughout elementary school, my afternoons consisted of watching my older brother play high school soccer. One of his team mates, Mike Lentine was seen by everyone as the popular jock and was also known for his parties. After games he was seen with his under dressed girlfriend, who would most likely be seen kissing. For most kids, this cocky young Italian is what most kids pictured and idolized growing up.

            However, in my case, I idolized his younger brother Paul, who was currently the youngling prancing up and down the white stripes as the ball boy. He distinguished himself to me as a serious soccer player like his brother, despite his smaller figure.

            As I entered varsity soccer for my first year, there was no one I looked up to more than Paul.

            Varsity soccer took me by awe as I had dreamed of playing sense watching my brother win states in 2004. Entering my first year consisted of a sectional final championship, and following right after the Penfield Soccer tradition of greatness. We played as one. If something happened to one of us, it affected us all. We were the true definition of a team, and it showed. Prep talks before games, pasta dinners and film sessions all distinguished us from the other teams and ultimately helped us win sectionals.

            Leadership was the biggest part of my sophomore year on Varsity, and effectively ruined my final senior year, with a lackluster season. I have always been more comfortable being led, and then leading a team on my own. I usually let my play speak for me, but when your team doesn't follow, you end up with a season like we did. We truly lacked a true leader that could back up his words with their play.

            My junior year, as every other year, started with doubt and what our team was going to be able to accomplish throughout the upcoming season. One thing we didn't lack however going into the year, once again, was leadership. I was pushed on the field to become a better player. Paul Lentine was the engine behind our team.

            Finally being able to play with a kid that I had watched dominate the previous season, as a starter we built a friendship that is considered unbreakable at this point. On the field, Paul would work to the point in which he was bent over, on a garbage can, sweat running down his face, hurling. But before you knew it he was right back on the turf beads, leading a suicide again.

            I recall one game when our team was struggling, Paul came up to me and said now is your time to make your mark on Penfield Soccer. I had somewhat played a decent game and knew I had it in me to truly dictate who won the game. He told me that now was the time. Within the next couple of plays, I found myself in a give-and- go play which led me one on one with the keeper. I slotted the ball lower left corner, past the keeper, and that ultimately decided the game.

            Since Paul was a year older than me, and we hung out so much, I felt as though I grew up in his grade. When he left for college, I was not quite sure what to do with my life.

            He continued to pursue soccer at Rensselaer, and was also seen to his new teammates pushing himself to the point of exhaustion, and hurling. And I was left at high school, with a far from ordinary loosing soccer team.

            As much as I would love to compare myself to Paul, I am just not the same person.

            Paul’s endless determination and good nature is just something that most people cannot compare to. I still remember him on the radiating turf, yelling in pain as he cramped up from another extensive workout, and in a game huffing and puffing as he sprinted up and down the touchlines in order to help us sneak away with another win.

            Off the field, he had an unforgettable cackle and a “aye” yelp whenever he got pumped. However he also was a serious character that anyone could distinguish without even seeing him, due being overshadowing from his previous generation brothers.

            At this point in my somewhat lackluster senior year, influenced by our soccer season, I only can imagine what Rensselaer will provide next year when the college experience engulfs me when I once again get to join Paul.

            Penfield soccer has been my upbringing. From the early morning practices in the summer, with sweat dripping down my face in the grueling sun, to the late fall practices wearing our red and white striped warm-ups, Penfield soccer defines who I am. The people surrounding soccer have also helped characterize who I am, and no one is more influential then Paul Lentine. 

Exhibit #2: 'A Man and a Gentleman', Definition writing

Definition Paper Reflection

Christian Amering

A Man and a Gentleman

When I began writing this paper, I wasn't sure exactly where I was looking to go with the topic. I knew I wanted to compare the idea of a man and a gentleman. Before I started writing, I looked up a bunch of quotes and pictures and found one that very closely related the two different types of guys. This essentially then became the base and form of how I wrote my paper.

While I wrote this paper, I found it really easy to compare the two subjects. I feel that there is a clear difference in a man and a gentleman such that a gentleman is willing to take the extra step for others. I made sure to utilize this in my paper as I continued to write. One of the harder parts however was what kind of paper to write. I wanted to use the picture that I found that compared a man and gentleman, but wasn't sure the best way to get the point across. I ended up using each statement made in the picture, and then expanding upon it with more details. One example was, “A man tries to make his mark,; a gentleman strives to leave a mark” and then expanded upon this idea.

The best part of my draft is the way that I was able to take a quote, and expand upon it. Despite this writing task being a definition paper, I was still able to use other skills learned during the exemplification paper to use in this paper. The draft I wrote initially got good reviews from my peers and they said that using the quotes and then expanding upon it really created a way to define what the quote was defining, and how the quotes were defining the thesis of the difference between a man and a gentleman.

As I read my peers papers in our peer review session, I learned of different techniques of getting their thesis across. Some would do the same as me and make a point, and then expand upon it. Others would write the definition and either agree or disagree with what the technical term is. Both of these techniques seemed to be effective, but some topics work better with certain techniques. 

Here is my revised copy:

A Man and a Gentleman

            Immaturity is within every guy you meet, and is something we will carry with us till the day we die. But how we carry about ourselves is what really clarifies who each individual guy really is. While some may see the word ‘Man’ and ‘Gentleman’ to be the same word or descriptor, they are far from the same.

            “A man tries to make his mark; a gentleman strives to leave a mark.” Gentlemen not only seek to make a mark on their own lives, and others, but will see it through. This is an aspect that most people fail to see, as they only feel as though “nice guys always finish last”.

Leave it to all guys to admit that they strive to conquer more in their life, but trust in a gentleman to make that dream a reality. Most actors today are considered just a man. They try to make a mark by the movies the produce, and their lavish lifestyles. The true gentleman actors, such as Brad Pitt, strive to leave a mark, not only by having a strong set of morals, but by also giving back to charity.

            “A man accepts a favor, a gentleman returns the favor.” There is a small difference between acknowledging a favor, and returning the favor. While most man will appreciate a favor, few gentlemen will return the favor. Not only do they recognize the thoughtfulness of the others but they want to make them feel the same way.

            “A man gives orders, a gentleman inspires.” Men always believe their selves are dominant and will take charge of a situation whether they believe they are capable of it or not. All though they may not admit it, men believe they are the dominant gender, as most men take control of most serious situations (Government, Sports etc.) A gentleman will not only take charge, but he will morph his own personality into a leader. Most men fail to see from this point of view. Whenever men play sports, they always look to take over the game and be the best player, but the best players are the ones that lead by example, lead others, and strive to meet new goals. The controversy of who was the best teammate between LeBron and Michael Jordan is the best example. Even though many argue that LeBron is building the best skills in the history of the NBA, they fail to compare his leadership and morals to those of Michael Jordan. While most stars are selfish, Michael Jordan once said, “to be successful you have to be selfish, or else you never achieve. And once you get to your highest level, then you have to be unselfish. Stay reachable. Stay in touch. Don’t isolate.”

            “A man fits the mold; a gentleman tries to break it.” Most men may come across as the same person, all seeking to be the dominant person, always capable of being lazy, and cocky. Whether you believe it or not, men were all born with the same immaturity that probably has either positively or negatively shaped their lives. Gentlemen do fit this mold that our gender has shaped to today, but they also try and break free of this depiction, and strive for more.

            To simplify the matter, a man is willing to do the bare minimum to keep him and others happy, while a gentleman is willing to take the extra step.   The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a gentleman as a man who combines gentle birth or rank with chivalrous qualities. A gentleman brings qualities such as generous with his time, a positive outlook, a life-long learner and known for his integrity. George Clooney provides the dapper attire and attitude towards life to classify himself as a top gentleman today. To achieve such a thing, you don’t need to be born from with it, but acquire it overtime and have the will to put others in front of yourself. 

Exhibit #3: 'The Big No, No', Narrative Writing

Narrative Paper Reflection

The Big No, No

Starting my narrative paper may have been one of the most challenging papers that I have written while in College Composition. As I started to explore topics of what to write on, I couldn't help but remember back to elementary school. In elementary school so many different things took place that was both funny, and adventurist. These two qualities are what grabs the reader’s attention and really entertains them.

Before I started writing, we read a couple examples in class that really helped me get curious of different topics I could go into. I learned from reading these pieces that a narrative could come across as funny, serious, or both. This versatile kind of writing is really where I thrive because I can approach the paper from so many different ways. For The Big No, No, I chose to include both humor and seriousness.

Deciding upon my topic was very easy once I had read some other examples. I decided to write about one time, before I was in elementary school, when my friend pulled the fire alarm and made the whole school evacuate. One of the easiest parts when it came to writing about this topic was being able to recognize and point out to the reader the differences in time. Today if you pulled a drill, administrators can simply look at the cameras and find out who did it, but back then they had nothing like that.

As I wrote this paper, I learned a lot about my own writing style and technique. One of the biggest things I struggle with is the inability to completely get my point across without going off topic.

One of the peer reviews said that I need to work on the, explode a moment. I would agree with this because I find it hard sometimes to really expand so much upon just one idea. This sometimes can be the biggest part of a paper and can really add in some of the extra details that keeps the reader, reading. 

Here is my revised copy:

The Big No, No

            Like all kids transitioning through Elementary school, we all wondered exactly what that red button/switch was that was labeled ‘Emergency’. Like a stop light, it assumes that the observer will take note and know to stop, but the installation of fire switches at schools is placed without considering exactly whose occupying the building. In this case, a red button to elementary school students means curiosity.

            Kids imaginations are built of the idea of what they observe, and in some cases, Curious George did our society no good. Little kids walking around a school are like little monkeys walking around a forest looking for trouble. Despite being protected by that shiny plastic cover, and being labeled more times than a box labeled Fragile, it seems reasonable to believe that no one would approach such an object.

            Having not been old enough yet to attend Indian Landing Elementary School, I only could imagine what went on after you stepped onto that yellow bus.

            My mom had become a teachers helper for my eldest brothers class, which meant I had my in. Before school once a week, I had the pleasure of walking into the brick building that stood there gloriously. As I entered for the first time, I was surprised by the number of poster hung around every corner, as if they were putting student’s thoughts on the wall. I continued to walk down the hall with my mom, standing close behind and was speechless.

            From that day on, my dream became to become a kindergartner. As stupid as it sounds, elementary school seemed as a zoo in which kids congregated in and enjoyed freedom. Now as a senior, I get the same feeling about college.

            One Friday, I entered the building accompanied by my friend who came over for the day, and like most kids, he was in awe of the red box. Without thinking, or asking, he opened up the fingerprint free cover, and pulled the button. Still unable to read, he ignored the foreign language signs and stickers.

            I froze where I was standing and was speechless. Unfamiliar with a school in itself, I had no idea what to do when my friend not only pulled this red switch labeled fire, and sirens began to sound.

            The siren began to sound and the classrooms began to empty, as if there wasn't a fire at all; students were accustomed to the drills that took place ten times a year. My mother, unaware of what my friend had done, followed the crowds outside, as classes lined up outside and were counted of by teachers.

            I wanted to tell my mom about what I witnessed but still remained speechless.

            As most fire ‘drills’ go, the school clears out the building, goes through there procedures. Kids form up in their classes and march out the building as if ants. Everyone avoids talking, at least at the elementary school level in the fear of an actual fire. Despite the unreal procedures that everyone is put through, teachers continue to enforce the rules that are stowed upon by the school.

The deafening sound that is screamed out from the drills continues to ring until the school has been secured.

I still continue to be in awe. For something that I had never experienced or been made aware of, everything was happening so fast. Everyone acted as if it was just another trip outside.

All at the same time, my friend acts as though he had done nothing wrong. As we wait outside, the school confirms that it was a false alarm, but more importantly, pulled by someone. Lacking cameras at this time, the school had no idea knowing that it was him.

Today it is nearly impossible to get away with even skipping class due to the new technology. It is crazy to think that a near funny stunt by my friend could go by unseen, while today a bomb threat will trigger a school wide evacuation in the matter of minutes.

The school day continued on as if nothing had happened. Kids mindlessly reentered the school and took in every minute of freedom outside as they could, before they could once again, go outside for recess.

It is still hard to recollect exactly what was going through my friends head when he pulled the fire alarm. Even as a senior in High School, I still find it unreasonable to pull a fire alarm, not to mention the dozen of bomb threats that we had throughout elementary school. Despite the wrongdoings in today’s world, the first thing that the average teenage thinks about when they hear about a fire drill is it happening during their least favorite class. 

Blog #8: Compare & Contrast

Hello, today I will be demonstrating the two different type of writings of Point by Point and Subject vs. Subject.

Point by Point: University of Buffalo vs. RIT

    As I concluded my college search, it came down to two different colleges, UB and RIT. UB has the large campus that I wanted, but RIT wasn't small either. I would be farther away from home, and would have more freedom at UB, but it would be nice to go to a college in town. Despite both having very good engineering education, UB allowed for more versatility. UB was full of a lot of different people and was more diverse, and RIT has the reputation of nerdy type kids. When it came down to it, UB had more of what I was looking for. Unlike RIT, they had more subjects that interested and kept the possibility of architecture still alive.

Subject vs. Subject: Golf vs. Frolf  

   When anyone thinks of golf, they always think of hitting a ball into a hole, along with other wealthy people. Most people oversee Frolf (Frisbee Golf). Golf is one of my favorite sports, and I strive to play the game at least once a week. Its a relaxing game in which you can go outside, play a relaxing game and have a good time. Adults can enjoy their adult beverage, and it provides a competitive game, that's relaxing. It is a combination of a backyard game, with class. Most golf courses have club houses and other amenities sometimes including a pool or driving range. This luxurious game is most often seen as a 'rich' sport, and prices usually correspond with the different facilities provided.

    Frolf is the opposite of golf, yet similar in sport. Frisbee golf has the same idea of aiming an object and trying to get it in a hole, with obstacles in the way. However Frisbee golf relates to a much different array of people. While I enjoy playing both, Frisbee golf is much cheaper, and sometimes referred to as a hippy sport. Anyone can pay Frolf, and most courses are located in parks rather than private clubs. Golf and Frolf have similarities, but also have distant features that distinguish one from another.

Blog #7: Commercial Paper Planning

Hello, Abstract Idea: Determination Links: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kE1H31FmHV4&list=UUKbGPPMiB37HbLIAKyV9bmQ&index=3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoyEBma3sy4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cE3_s9Br1ms http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRw-I6HwAhw http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JnYcuRW_qo http://bangbodies.com/2012/08/new-sidney-crosby-commercial-determination/ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hy9U6HMcFG8&list=PL2417AEB120D6CAD0 These are all commercials that I will use in my Determniation abstract idea commercial paper. Thanks for reading, Christian Amering

Blog #5

Hello,
Today I plan on finishing up the last couple of sentences of my paper. I only need two-three more concluding statements to finish my cookie paper.

Grade: 30/30

Thanks for reading,

Christian